opfor

hello!

2008-01-10T00:47:00.000+08:00

Oh hello, happy 2008! like 10 days later...ha
my only resolution this year is to have more time. time for everything that needs to be done and time for everything that i want to do. time for family, dita and friends.
right now it's all just time for school work.
blog again real soon.
ps. don't try flamming waterfall. you'll regret it. trust me on this one.

KL TRIP!

2007-06-15T22:03:00.001+08:00

-=KL Trip!=-
A picture says a thousand words, so i guess i must have said like a kaziilllion words?haha.

Ok , so the 3 days went by pretty fast and so, back here to try and complete my proj a day before sch reopens, hopefully though. so much to do in so little time!!argh.hate it.
to dita : i know sometimes my temper get the better of me, i'll change that.
ok, back to work. hope i can update more often =).

realisation.

2007-04-17T00:41:00.000+08:00

Family.
Friends
Bliss.
The first 3 days of my 18year old life were filled with 2 extremes.
The first 2 were filled dissapointments.
The 3rd was filled with joy.
I've come to realise that during the rough and jerky times, if you just hold on, and work things out together, the issue would solve itself.
Or, be like me, come to realise that you've misunderstood and that your accusation is wrong, the accused takes you back with both arms open.

=)

24

2007-03-13T01:08:00.000+08:00

Day 24,
so here's my once in a month update.
first thing first, ac milan and manchester will both get knock out nxt round.
go totti, go roma, go who ever's going up against milan.
there's simply no more interest in the champions league anymore.hah, sore loser i noe.
anw, i've passed all my modules. so no repeats or retaining.
saw my handphone bill for the month too.
128.50
last month was 135 .
really don't know where am i spending on lah. dunnoe why is it so much too.
so 263.50 gone liddat. fag.
and today, went back to jin feng cos there were some japenese coming over to inspect our factory and get information from us since we're buyin this 5 axial cnc machine.
all because the japenese are afraid that we'll use this machine to create parts that'll end up in a weapon -.-! so they did a check on the end users of our products too.
i think that they're being too paranoid, this is not china ok. neither is jinfeng own by a cheenese.
usually, 3 and 4 co axial machines are used to make aircraft parts accordin to the jap technician.
the ones that we had were either 1 or 2 axial machines.
the one that i was allowed to operate last year only had one.
they left at arnd 3, so i went to imm.
like what i've done for the past 2 weeks.
time passes really fast when i'm busy.this is good.
i want the next month to pass faster.
i miss dita.
bye.
..

happy new year!

2007-02-19T04:31:00.000+08:00

Hmm ok, i know, long time no blog.
First of all, thanks to Fab- For booking the movie ticket for me. And the extra cheese and Caramel Popcorn.Hope your Boss don't read my blog. you my hero xP don't translate. LoL.
Den serene & leslie.Thanks for taking the time to help me ask Fab to get those tickets for me, even when you guys were busy. Appreciate that alot, thanks!
and JQ- for bearing her Handphone vibration when i sent message and dialed her No. & for passing the message from Fab to me. Thanks alot too =).
This year started off well,
Never kena interview, hopefully it's not bcos the board already condemn me and not let me proceed on to the second year.
My group of secondary peeps and the soccer bros ; always there for me. whether's it's me needing someone to talk cock sing song with or lend/borrow stuff or go out and accompany with.
My family; all is well, no major differences with Dad yet. Hopefully this goes on.
My girl; she's bought so much laughter and life into mine.Beautiful simple girl who makes me as a person whole, and so much more better.Day 3 only, but i'm alr missing her like mad.Can Tml be Apr 10?

disapointing

2007-01-13T23:38:00.000+08:00

disapointing

rhadoshophies.

2007-01-04T00:37:00.000+08:00

The All-American Rejects
It Ends Tonight

Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can’t explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don’t want to need at all.

The walls start breathing
My minds unweaving
Maybe it’s best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can’t explain what you can’t explain.
You're finding things that you didn’t know
I look at you with such distain

The walls start breathing
My minds unweaving
Maybe it’s best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

[Chorus]
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Now I’m on my own side
It’s better than being on your side
It’s my fault when you're blind
It’s better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside
Now you’re the first to know

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends when darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Tonight, Insight
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight.

Somehow, everytime the things i envision for myself don't turn out the way i plan and instead, it turns out horribly wrong.
i think the next two weeks will be tiring, mentally and physically, with all the deadlines and all. Then after - holidays, it'll be the same all over again, all the bloody time, the stress that comes from my dad.
hai, sian- brain draining stuff.

oh well, i'll be able to see my gal in less than 10 hours time.
yay. haha.

2007.Here we come..

2007-01-01T02:43:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year people!
i'll share with you guys what my dad's friend told me.
Count Downs are for the young, cos we wanna grow up as fast as possible.
people above 39 usually don't count down because it's like counting down to being impotent, infertile, to your death etc.
It's much more hilarious in dialect.
For me, i'll be counting down to the 4th.
why?
cos sayangku will be back =D!
yAy!yaY!Yay!
heheh, just a few more days to go..
come this thursday morning, at 6am, we would've been apart for like 19 days.
and we spent 19 hours together before she left s'pore.
it wasn't planned at all, so it is really coincidental
so erm, one hour for every day that she's gone? -.-!
think i'll go airport fetch her.
who got car can lend?lol.
jkin, no longer driving secretly.
at least not since that time we go buy bak chor mee in the middle of the night.xD
my aunt(jiawei don't get high hor) told me my grandma(pls jiawei.) knew about me driving that mazda 323 secrectly out.yah. i got a real big shock when my aunt ask me whether i still got drive secrectly ; she went on to spill out everything else.
luckily, neither my grandma,aunt or uncle told my dad about anything.

hmm, my dad, my dad.
i'm just glad that things between the two of us are getting better, at least we were able to have a normal day today. no arguments,no quarrels,no one getting dissapointed or hurt.
it was really different just one week ago.
so, yea, it's a good start for 2007.
having somebody standing by your side and supporting you is really heart warming and it does really help you overcome alot of things.

owning my brother in cs is damn shiok.
getting owned in dota by him is not.

smalleyessmall.

2006-12-06T01:12:00.000+08:00

small eyes small xD.

nice.

2006-12-02T01:22:00.000+08:00

sorrysorry.

2006-11-27T08:22:00.000+08:00

to : zhili, fab, jiawei, de long and ding zhi.
sorry about last night.
oh.this wed.
go with me to shop.shop and shop. aite?

yeahhh

2006-11-09T23:46:00.000+08:00

yay!
YAY!
YAy!
finish my cad dwgs..
i'm a happy man.

how true..

2006-11-07T22:50:00.000+08:00

fcuk.sian.fcuk

2006-11-03T00:00:00.000+08:00

damn.
i just seen my results for my interim.
got C,D & B..
Fcuk it.
i thought i'll get better grades
so sian can.
what happened to the comments like "sensitive", good lay out all that?
shows that you can't trust what the lecturers said during crit.
sian.
i went home last monday thinkin that i've pulled it off..
oh well, can't change the grades anyway.
Gonna do one notch better for the final crit for macro 2 weeks ltr.
Submission for my floor plans,elevations and sections on nxt thurs.
Must have self impose exile from playin.
please don't tempt me to go out, play or party aite?
just one week plus and so much needs to be done.
LOW.
Don't tell me to just F (forget or fuck) it because if i do, i can jolly well forget about going on to second year.
i don't wanna retain.i don't want my efforts to go down the drain.
so many times, so much been done and everything just goes down the drain.
if this is another one of those,i think i'll galdly be a slacker for the rest of my life.not tht i'm a quitter but even the most patient guy will run out of patience someday, somehow.
i'll need a good long break after this final proj.
overseas trip anyone?
just not taiwan.

one year on..

2006-10-15T05:11:00.000+08:00

hey guys,d'you realise that it's been a year and 2 days since we've graduated from hua yi? one year. what a year it has been,e emotional roller coaster ride of ups and downs.disapointments, joy filled moments,moments of true fwenship have all come and gone during this past one year.
our farewell dinner was kinda erm, sad?haha, in place for a lack of better word.
had to go en mass to jp's seoul garden to have our own farewell dinner since the damn school didn't provide us with one,guess we were the only class who had ours lasst year.this year's better,the sch held a prom at cdians(this is how it is spelt i think) and, they had study leave,can don't come to sch at all if you wanted to study at home,it's like so wtf..
anyway,back to my one year thingy,hmm, fer me right, this period of time saw me working in as a fabricator right after our chalet, spending that christmas, got rejected,got another shot,got my first pair of blades?(yea,lied to her tht it is my second pair,had to appear like i wasn't tryin too hard rite?though i must admit lying is a wrong thing.)transferred to the electronic dept,that split that i had with my dad, the first chinese new year i spent overseas,then getting enrolled into sp with zhili,etc etc,there's too much to rmbr, but the point is that this past one year's been one hell of a year,with so much changes to our, my life.
Then, one year ago,i was a student preparing to sit for my 'O's, as is with everyone else. but now, i'm studyin to become an architect, starting work on my final project for this year. academically,so much has changed, no more exams, not exaclty a big hoo-ha, has to be consistent,has to deal more with card board, pencil, computers,penknife,catriage paper as compared to text books and lotsa pen and paper; pen esp,for all the writing for geog and history.
i came up with a statement for my current situation : i like architecture but i hate the work and academia side of it. everywhere i look,i just see F(s) staring back at me.
enough of whining about my course already, you guys probably heard all too many times from me.
hmm.shall say about my day yesterday?
-
-
-
-
-
one word, vodkaness.
high.
ok, two words.
had pure vodka over at keith's, should had mixed it first with something else,it was too strong for me.
the throat burned.
had some beer.
den went to find shamir.
was already damn high, den we went to my house's central market there buy liquor.i got vodka & skotch.he had whisky.
head became more light headed.
dude said cigrattes would help alievate tht.
but it didn't work.
den we went back for more liqour.
dis time didn't sell to me.
even after i've played the cashier's bluff and gave her my i.c
den we went to the petrol station.didn't sell.sad.
went to pioneer mall's 7-11.
shamir went in and came out with another two bottles.
went to find another spot and drink.
talked about how fast everything has been and some catching up since our last meeting.it's surprising how effective these kinda talkin sessions can relieve stress and reinstill some sense back.
went for supper at central market.
had mince meat noodle.fried chicken wing and most imptly, a warm cup of tea.
brought the highness level down abit.
watched the chelsea vs reading match before we parted ways at 3.20?

lastly,i really like my blog song.
sorry indeed is the hardest word to say.
especially to love ones?
yea,i would think so.
it's sad that we would end up liddat.
not even a call, message or anything.
but we can't turn back time or wish that we're back in the past,
it's just logic isn't it?
so this would always be a regret for me,
for i'll look back when i'm older
and hoped that i could have handled it much better.

(Sorry seems to be the hardest word)

2006-10-14T02:28:00.000+08:00

What I got to do to make you love me?
What I got to do to make you care?
What do I do when lightning strikes me?
And I wake to find that you're not there?

What I got to go to make you want me?
What I got to do to be heard?
What do I say when it's all over?
Sorry seems to be the hardest word.

It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation.
And it's getting more and more absurd.
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over?
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word.

What do I do to make you want me?

hey yo.

2006-10-08T23:21:00.000+08:00

hello everyone.
two weeks has passed since the holidays ended, how fast this two weeks has been for me.two weeks, 2 case studys, and the start of my 15 week long major project.
the first week of sch, we had our brief for our first case study of the semester.
was supposed to form a group of between 5-6 ppl,but due to the lack of ppl enuff to meet this reqiurement, my group had only 3 ppl.namely,

Kah Hoe.

Me. =)

and lastly, Zhao Yi.
we had 5 daes to do a study model, structural model,floor plans and write ups,four days actually if you take away monday.
so we had a few sleepless night and i made kah hoe's house my temporary hse for tht week.stay at his house also not bad, the food that his mother whips up is simply RESTORANT grade!had spaggetty and fried rice for dinner during that two daes that i was there.
besides the food, he had a cat for a pet. his cat is cool lah, act dead infront of me.
it was like one moment he was sitting up, den the next he like kenna gun shot liddat and just fell to the ground. why i sae kenna gun shot?cos his motion is like the head strain to one side and piak hit the ground.
i seriously think that he should be the spokesman for the cat species or something cos what ever hatred i had for cats were like gone after playing with him.simply cool.
yeah,this here is the study model that we did within like 2 daes?

front view of it.

side view.

heh.my structural model,it's like 100% all done by me lah. +P

Moving on to the second week, we had our briefing for our major project and our second case study, which was to do a site analysis for this place which would eventually be the site where our 'house' is suppose to eventually be built on.
again,it was the three of us and we somehow, one way or another completed it.
fell sick mid week though.
so didn't join you guys for soccer cos the doc saes that if i were to do that,you would see me in the news joining those ns ppl who just die out of the blue.
well,her reason's that if the virus attacks me heart,and my heart rate increases, i would just drop dead.that's pretty much how she discribes it to me lah.so guys,if your sick got virus or what take it easy on yourself and don't do strenous stuff..
oh one more thing, might not really get to hang out with you guys as frequently as last time cos the project's only really starting and the workload will only get worse as time goes so please understand aite guys? gosh,really miss the exams...
gonna have to start archi life in another 8 hours? sian 1/2.
anyway,i'm not gonna screw up this semester like what i've done last semester.so root for me ppl.this time, i'm gonna go for it,all the way.haha, i noe what i'm writing now is not cohesive but whatever lah.
end here with a pic of the sun rise at bintan..

yep,it was only like 6.30 there and we had this big egg yoke in the sky alrdy.
will update on friday again i think.cos that'll be like one year since we've graduated.

p.s. my parents are like away this weekend.

zzzZ

2006-09-21T15:16:00.000+08:00

go try this. you noe, if you're en- free i mean...lols.

http://www.life-answers.com/scripts/special_report_cb.aspx?hop=mcclain#Form

Numerology Reading
Reading Data for: harry chua
Name at birth: harry kaiming chua
Date of birth: April 13, 1989
Destiny number: 86 / 5
Life Path number: 44 / 44
Physical Plane: 2
Mental Plane: 5
Emotional Plane: 3
Intuitive Plane: 6
Personality number: 55 / 1
Soul Urge number: 31 / 4

The influence of your Day of Birth;You were born on the 13th of the month, which makes your birth number 4.

You have an interesting character combination. While you have the solid, stubborn, steeped-in-tradition nature common to most fours, you're also endowed with a creative flair that may be lacking in those born on the 4th, 22nd and 31st of the month.

Your ability to express yourself will lead you into people-oriented fields. A career in architecture or real estate combines your need for a stable home with human contact on a daily basis

Your Destiny number;
Enthusiastic, extroverted, enticing . . .

I'll bet these words describe you perfectly! To you, life is one long non-conformist adventure. You put all your desires and goals into one thought-FREEDOM!

The reason that you're attracted to an unconventional lifestyle is that you're under the influence of a 5 Destiny. Guys with this Destiny tend to ignore the status quo and go merrily on their own adventures down the road of life. You're life isn't restricted to an armchair at home, my friend. You want to do and explore EVERYTHING.

In order to fulfill your destiny, it's important to accept that there are certain things you must be, do, and accomplish in your life. As a guy with a 5 Destiny, you are here to break up tradition and expand your personal horizons.

Your Life Path's influence;
A person with high mental capabilities, someone who is materialistically inclined, who works hard and who won't rest until reaching the top . . .

Does this describe someone you know-namely YOU? Well, there's a reason that you have the qualities to become quite a success in any endeavor you choose. You travel a 44 Lifepath, meaning that many of your efforts and situations will involve your superb mental powers!

But you're different than the run-of-the-mill workaholics who stay late to impress the boss.

Your Intuitive Plane;
Doing good works is a philosophy to be lived and acted upon -- not just something you pay lip service to. You take this viewpoint very seriously, and it defines your SPIRITUALITY.

You look at your beliefs as actual guides to live by, instead of just meaningless cliches.

If someone asks for help you are always willing to give it.

Many times, however, you don't even need to be asked. You are able to ANTICIPATE what others need, and then you RESPOND to the best of your ability. Your willingness to help is almost always expressed on a person-to-person basis, interacting with those who are close to you. Organized religion is just not your cup of tea.

You do a fine job of "loving thy neighbor as thyself." The trouble is, too many other people don't, and this really gets under your skin. This is part of your IDEALISTIC nature.

Expect less of others and you'll be less disappointed.

Your Personality number - how others see you;
You're quite a proud, brave and confident guy. At least, that's the impression you give to others. Even if on the inside you're a quaking bowl of Jell-O, the outside face you present is one of dynamic courage, independence and innovation!

The reason you're able to have such a FORCEFUL and DYNAMIC appearance is that you have a 1 Outer Personality. With this type of Outer Personality, you can expect to be able to take control of anything-even life-and run it efficiently and successfully. What a terrific personality to have!

Guys with the 1 Outer Personality are self-starters who just aren't cut out for a 9-to-5 job routine. If you've always hated punching that time clock, now you know why! You don't restrict yourself to a 40-hour week with this personality. Instead, you'll work as long as it takes to get the job-ANY job-done.

Your Soul Urge influence - what truly makes you happy;
Professional, proud, persevering and patient . . .

. . . these four "p" words describe you, your inner desires and your outlook perfectly!

Your down-to-earth attitude and inner strength result from the influence of a 4 Soul Urge. Any time a 4 crops up in conjunction with something as important as a Soul Urge, I know that man's going to be disciplined, loyal and honest - a guy whose constant companions are integrity and faith.

Deep down, where it counts, you're a firm believer in the work ethic and in an "honest day's work for an honest day's pay." You're not one to be caught complaining about working overtime, because accomplishments in the real world and the material gain that follows in their wake mean a lot to you.

here comes the update.

2006-09-11T17:27:00.001+08:00

1. full name: Chua Kaiming Harry
2. name backwards: yrrah gnimiak auhc
3. were you named after someone: harry lee and my dad's childhood fwen
4. meaning of name: no idea.
5. nickname: alot
6. screen name: dun haf.
7. D.O.B: 13/04/1989
8. place of birth: gleneagles.
9. nationality: Singaporean
10. current location: boon lay
11. star sign: aries
12. religion: ami-tao-hook.
13. height: 185
14. weight: 70
15. shoe size: 11 1/2
16. hair colour: black
17. eye colour: black
18. who do you look like: limbei lah.
19. innie or outtie: both
20. leftie or rightie: right
21. gay, straight, bi or others: straight
22. best friends: my brothers.and those who gave me support.
23. best friend you trust most:i trust each and single one of my bros.
24. favourite pals: all my bros.n i like them for different reasons.
25. best friend of opposite sex: dun think i have.i'm surrounded by gays all the time,socer,in class watching football matches.
26. best buddies: my bros lah.
27. boyfriend or girlfriend: i'm all alone....
28. crush: is still her.
29. parents: i think you guys noe who.dun even sae.
30. worst enemy: don't think i have one yet.but if you wanna ask who i hate the most.it'll probably be that guy.(but other than that,it'll have to be tottenham)
31. favourite online guy:-
32. favourite online girl:-
33. craziest friend: those gays that i call bros are all crazy in one way or another.
34. advice friend: they're all people who advices me.
35. loudest friend: OK
36. person you cry with: me,myself and harry.
37. any sisters: 1
38. any brothers: louis and tom
39. any pets: two hamsters?not really mine though..
40. any disease: yea.chronic miss-her-till-i-can-really-die-nor-concentrate-on-anything-yet-she-dun-give-a-damn-but-still-i-miss-her-kind-of-disease.
41. pagers: oh hello?this is like 2006?not 1996.
42. personal phone line: y for yes,not Y** F**
43. cell phone:samsung d550
45. pool or hot tub: hot tub?
46. a car: dun haf.
47. your personality: dunnoe how to sae meself abt meself.
48. driving: no car how to drive?really,who set these questions?
49. room: zhili's living room
50. whats missing: her and everything about her.
51. school: sp
52. bed colour: blue
53. relationship with parents: ok with mum,not so predictable with me dad.
54. believe in yourself: i try,but always end up failing.
55. believe in love at first sight: err.not really i think.
56. good listener: i have this look tht looks like i'm listening but really i'm not digesting anything.
57. get along well with parents: so-so?
58. save email conversations: who e hell does that?
59. pray: that we'll be together somedae?
60. believe in reincarnation: my religion saes that i must believe.
61. make fun of people: always
62. like to talk on the phone: now no more.
63. want to get married: yea,but that was like a few months ago, now no.
64. like to drive: occasionally,dun really have the liscense though.
65. motion sickness: negative.
66. eat stem of broccoli: yupp.
67. eat chicken with fork: then?
68. dream in colour: obviously?i'm not leslie alright?
69. type with your fingers on home role: no.
70. sleep with stuff animals: no i don't.
71. next to you: zhili that bitch lying on the sofa watching teebee.
72. on the walls of your room: nthing.
73. on your mousepad: i dun use a mousepad no more,yo dig that?
74. dream car: aston martin f9?
75. dream date: her.and a chopper that i can fly her to this island somewhere in the pacific.
76. dream honeymoon spot: rome and paris?cliche i noe.
77. dream husband or wife: nah.it's no longer a possibility.
78. bedtime: dun haf fixed one.
79. under your bed: nothing.
80. single most important question: err.you guys should noe lah huh.
81. bad time of a day: dun really have one.but i really hates it when it rains.
82. your worst fear: it happened already.(theirry henry dying counts too.)
83. the weather is: so-so
84. time: 5.49
85. date: 11/9/2006
86. best trick did on someone: can't really rmbr.
87. theme song: wei yi by wang lee hom.boulevard of broken dreams by green day.
88. hardest thing about growing up: everything is hard.
89. funniest experience: can't really put my hand on one.
90. scariest experience: walking by meself late at night in a abandoned estate?
91. silliest thing you have ever said: pp
92. scariest thing while you are with your friends: well,the latest i would sae.middlesbrough leading arsenal one nil.
93. worst feeling: seeing the body of me gramp's who i was just talking to the day before.
95. best feeling in the world: being loved by her.
gotta be the most stupidest thing i've ever done.

well, now at ah far's house...yep, i noe it's been along time since i've blogged but it's only because sometimes when i wanna blog,den i'll have hardly no time or stuff liddat.den when i dun wanna blog,i'll have all the time in the world,aiyah,what am i saying man. anyway, gonna comment on the 7-1 thrashing of erm.teck loong's class?ha.

Anyway,i didn't really play very well for tht match since i've really no idea where my stamina's gone.ha.guess i'm probably the only who sucked there but well done to the rest,you guys were exceptional.yeah.owned em.
hmm hmm,what else what else.
oh yah.thank god i didn't go jurong point with you guys last night.amit-tau-hook.your father your mother...
i just hope that you are happy.even if it means being with him.
i still love you.

Different - Acceptance

2006-08-06T03:19:00.000+08:00

Tell myself, on the ride home.
Getting tired, hating all I've known.
Holding on, like it's all I have.
Count me out, when it's clear that I, find it hard to say.
And you, find it hard to care.

I wanted to see something that's different, something you said would change in me.
Wanted to be, anything different, everything you would change in me.

Got this way, upfront but never true.
God I'm wrong, it's just the way I am.
Crashing down, any chance you hear.
Caving in, any chance that you, could see inside of me.
And I, I'll know what to say, It's fine.
This isn't Hollywood.

So fine, getting in your way.

I wanted to see something that's different, something you said would change in me.
Wanted to be, anything different, everything you would change in me.

I'm taking a chance, this could be different.
This could be all I'm waiting for.
Taking a chance, this could be different.
This could be all I'm waiting for.

I wanted to see something that's different, something you said would change in me.
Wanted to be, anything different, everything you would change in me.

Something that's different .(something that's different)

Different - Acceptance

So,i saw her twice in a week.Public transport was involved each time.
The first time,it was on tuesday.she was walking along the corridor tht leads to her house.i was in the public transport.
You know,most man practise some form of abstinency.well,i'm no different.
i tend to avoid sitting on the left side of the bus whenever i can.it's not that i wanna be right by sitting in the right.it's because of what i can't see when i'm sitting on the right.
however,i was sitting in the middle of the backrow seats that day.
some old habits die hard.
turned my head to the left,and there she was,walking,going on about her day without knowing what she has just done to me.
There was this urge to just get down the bus and approach her.But me being me,remain seated.It was nice lah,in some kind of way to see her again after all this time.
i didn't ask for more,i was contented,happy just to be able to steal a glimspe of her again.Yet when friday came,i saw her again.

And she saw me too.

She waved and smiled.

My eyes brightened up.
The eyebrows raised.
My mouth transitting into a smile.

But wait,something made me stop.
The woman i love smiling at me.How could i not smile too.

Hold on for a moment.She's attached now.
There was this guy behind her.

So,i did something which i've never done before.
Pretend i saw nothing and turned my back on her with a sacrastic "ha".

Didn't really end here.

In my mind,i completated of just walking away from all that.Bt there's no one that i can go to since i've just parted ways with zhili jiawei the usual.
Then again,the queue's long.maybe we won't board the same bus.

Well, i was wrong.
Boarded the bus,went to the back and sat on the right.
She too,boarded the bus.
along with that guy. and went to the standing area on the right.
friggin lord.
i must have done something really really wrong this week to deserve that.

That bus journey was hell.
half an hour of mental torture.
well,i did my best to look away and not what's infront of me.

Maybe what i did that night was wrong perhaps,but i dunnoe how to react to this kind of situation.
All the talk of being the bigger man.
well,that bigger man didn't show himself that day.

Alighted at my stop at eight going on to nine.
reached home at around 12 plus, one liddat.
thanks for the company and for bearing with my crap,it meant alot.

Notice.

2006-07-27T23:44:00.000+08:00

I've had two nightmares last night,shall talk about the not so scary nightmare.
Well,in the dream,i was into my third year for my course doing my final project when suddenly,the zheng hu (ghaverment) added to the list of jobs offlimits to colorbinds include architects.immediately, i was thrown out of my course,my portfolio and my model all take go and burn by those goverment agents and then i was woken up by my maid.
Looked at my clock and saw that it was still quite early,den i went back to sleep for just another 10minutes,den suay siao, kena another bad dream.den woke up one hour later.went to school,late as usual,but these few days getting later and later.dunnoe why leh,my bed just felt nicer to sleep these days...and nononono...no tp hor kokweng.
as for the track meet,came back home without any medals or awards,just lots of muscle ache and what ifs.
what if fathy didn't lose his balance,we would have won the relay and gotten first place,but as it is,he lost his balance and we lost our lead.but nevermind,there's always next year i guess,oh,and i saw my principal in the person for the first time yesterdae,guess it won't be till we graduate tht dae den i'll get to see him again,probably would lose a few more strand of hair by then.
the school which had the most points was CLS,then they awarded them with this very big trophy,machiam like champions league trophy liddat,very tempted to just grab the trophy and run away.had dinner with my relay group and the seniors before making my way back.
noticed that my class's starting to gel together,weekly PC lessons that's just either soccer or basketball on weds and fridaes.watching movies,bioing woman,copying homework,skipping classes,shopping for materials and stuff tht classes do.certainly helps too when the overwhelming of the class are guys and we have a fix classroom,in the form of our studio,where we spend almost the whole day everyday at;considering tat our tutorial's up to 4 hours one shot.
hmm,speaking about time,it's unbelievable how fast time has passed,national day is apphroaching soon,july's about to end in a few day's time,we've all grown older by one year.really miss the past,where everything's quite carefree actually,even during the o levels and prelims.where dickson was still my neighbour,we practically grew up together in this neighbourhood,where we could just go to the backyard and talk about anythin,cycling around the industrial estate,going to the 7th month dinner that our estate holds annually,we started doing dat when we were just primary three,whole table was filled with adults andwe were the only two kids there cos we represented our family.had our first taste of beer on our own together too,our neighbour was like asking us whether we want beer anot,we werearound 13-14 liddat den and we just said yes and we both went back with giddy heads dat day.better stop talkin about it or else it will become the whole history of me,my neighbour and our childhood.hmm,the past looks so much better than now.then, the future looked so bleak and everyday's happy go lucky kind of mood.
but now's the present day n time is scarce for just about anything except for the project,which is due in 2 1/2 weeks time,so till den,i must really up my pace and finish my A0 board,final model,study model,design journal and prepare for my crit.
oh,just remembered this,bumped into mr chua(also known as brock lester)at the sch's sports complex earlier on monday.he was running the tracks so many times tht i lost count after i've hit about 16...he was also running half naked lah,den those show offs in dragonboat did their rounds with their shirts firmly on tht day,no doubt it was mr chua that's responsible.had a little chat and found out that he's teaching at north light now,a school for less fortunate kids.oh,he still remembers me,haha,hey,afterall,who doesn't ever?haha,cheychey,choe mei abit.
btw zhili: keep up those efforts but take it slowly one step at a time yeah?i've no doubt tht you two will be together again.
till then people.

revamped.

2006-07-18T17:17:00.000+08:00

yep,changed my blogskin,updated the links,tag board totally screwed in comes cbox.

Materazzi

2006-07-10T22:27:00.000+08:00

Materazzi sucks.
He pinched Zizou's nipple,hurled abuses and got him sent off.
Italy mobbed France of their cup.

Borrowed Heaven.

2006-06-29T00:03:00.000+08:00

Yea.so finally, primer 2 has ended.so has something else.ended not as in a sense of giving up or giving it a closure.but rather to just let it be eh.those who are in the noe. i'll appreciate if you just keep things normal eh.makes it easier for me.like what fab saes,if it's to let you guys noe,i'll let you guys noe.anyway,it was suppose to be the holidaes was't it the last 2 weeks for us poly students right?
Well,my isn't exactly what you would call a holiday.i mean holidaes the time when you can sleep to your fullest rite?or sleep how much you like also can rite?so try getting disturbed every morning by phone calls or sms.also,even though it's the holidaes,i didn't really catch most of the world cup matches.not even the breakfast show,huh,how sad.
planning for primer 2 wasn't really that good i would say because we were all so engrossed about the construction part tht we left out the design journal part to the very last minute.Took us around 2-3 daes liddat to finish,and of course,we lived to the fullest for tht 3 daes.in one of my previous posts i've mentioned that i was so proud of myself for staying up one whole night to finish my stuff rite...well guess what,i've managed to stay 2 nights up to do my stuff,travelling to and fro.but still,couldn't resist an hour of shack.really bobian lah.my body's weak k?so weak that i fell sick before the critique session.which was on the 27th.
as for todae, didn't go sch cos i've got mc, so went to find zhili after he ended lessons at jurong point.went to buy stuff for the cookies and the card.den went to his house to bake those cookies,first of all, really must thank auntie yuet far eh, gave us tonnes of help. battering the dough was fun lah...think we over did it though.den the baking part and the packing plus eating part.got the more presentable ones and put them in a container.den it was winning eleven time,kept losing, dunnoe why but i just kept losing.guess i'm just a really big loser lah.lost everything todae, especially those two words.fuckit.tried doing the card in zhili's room and we had lots of ideas but after that slap of reality.i decided not to do the cards nor give the cookies,who would want those?give to beggars also dun want lah.
moving on, primer 3 is starting tml,have to go down to west coast first thing in the morning to do site selection and analysis for my building.yea it's a solo effort,so it should be much better,hopefully i would'nt lament on how i wish i'm doing primer 2 when i've started on this one.

i'll not live under any illusions nor denial now.i'm just gonna stay true to it,till the day i'm wasted and spent.till then,i'll be living on borrowed heaven.

sian.microstation.

2006-06-05T02:05:00.000+08:00

hmm..dun really have anything to do now cos i'm waiting for my microstation download to complete.still got nong nong way to go..
really bored now so i'll guess i'll blog den eh.
hmm.hmm.yup.this morning's street got one si gina play until very rough.it's like really damn rough lah.dun really noe whether he noes how to differentiate soccer from rugby anot.fcuking freak.tackled me from behind den act blur dunnoe cannot.fcuk.
elbow kena scratched,abit of my flesh like missing from my plam.luckkily it's just abit.hmmp.fcuking fcuker.
han cheng was telling me about this guy in all white being damn rough and not likable one bit while we were walking towards the court but i just kinda discounted him cos how rough could a person get in a court?
hmm, guess todae's incident is really an eye opener for me.

hmm.hmm.hmm.

2006-06-02T21:27:00.000+08:00

hmm...it's been quite a while since i've updated..
so here's a long one eh...
hmm...archi life...kinda sucks really...
it's always projects,projects and more projects...
the studio is nice yes...the resource centre is nice yes..
but the life as a darch student isn't that nice at all...
i think that the lecturers are like what lah...
cos everytime when the deadline is near,everyone's like skipping lectures and tutorials, so they always bait us with the extension of the deadline...maybe sae 3-4 hours.
But for primer 2 rite, they extended it by not one day,nor issit two days...but 3 whole weeks!woohoo...haha.dunnoe why lah,but everyone's saying tht we've to thank mdm junita for that cos she kena chicken pox recently,and her being 03's personal tutor, cannot miss out on the critique and capsule trying session.
ha, the euphoria that erupted thru the studio.
suddenly rite...everyone's like slack already..
suddenly everyone could go off at 5...no more late nights and no more kan chionging!haha...for my group we're still left with presentation board(halfway thru), design journal(done abit) & the construction of the capsule..not really looking forward to all those saw dust..
funny how time passes when you're drown in so much work,4 weeks gone just liddat..stupid course. darch sucks.
KAP sucks too...not 24 hours one...wtf..cos dat time nicholas and i had planned to piah the whole night there..thought is 24hours..budden at 2am the staff approached us and asked us to pack up.
ended up doing the model outside the mac donalds till 6.30..sheesh...
hmm..think nuff of primer 2...when it's over then i'll recount..louis kept talking about PES5...hand itchy already..
bloody game, very addictive...dun believe ask zhili...haha..it's alwaes one more match one more match...haha...at least you understood the temptations that i've got to go thru during o levels...haha.
hmm...think it's was around tuesday or wed my dad got a geomancer to view my house cos we're gonna renovate soon also about time actually,plus with my gramp's having her surgery soon, she can come stay with us,with her room done hopefully before she's discharge or anything..
den i've got to shift my room from the 3rd floor to the one at 2nd floor.it's not occupied now cos tht was my grandparents one,but eversince they've been gone it's always been vacated lah.
hmm..geomancer saes i must move den i've got to move...no complains anyway since there's a toliet in there.haha..finally i've got my own toliet.
then todae...damn suay lah, cos there's this breifing on the e learning week tht sp's having..somekinda every semester kinda thing.thought just go resource centre and sit in for 15 minutes listen to the lecture talk cock,budden it turns out that the talk lasted for an hour plus,sommore it came with so much bad news.k maybe i exxagerated abit but two bad news is also no good mah.first is tht we've to do casestudy in a group, thought initially that we can choose our own group but as always...they've already grouped us.wahlau.really want to complain about my group lah.cos primer 2 got 7 members in our group.den they split us up into 2 sub goups.suay siao i kena yiman,fathy and hung kai.
arghh....why can't i be with nick,jy and lin shiong instead?
argh.can die le lah.
2nd bad news was tht we have to hand in our cadp assignments by nxt tues 9am.sibei tiao kang lah.why 9 am ?why tues?..dotdot.i tot e learning week is use to piah the cadp floorplans but now.hmm.nvm...at most i use my sunday to do the first floor.they dunch call me the computer talent for nothing.haha.jkin niah eh.
oh yah..got back my grades for primer 1 .
3 Bs one A. not dat good but also not dat bad.average again. but really suprise with my ADS cos i thought i was at most getting a C+ only.budden again, they dun call me the great artist for no reason.haha.jkin. the comments on my sketches were like "not bad attempt,this is pretty good" to "this is a let down" towards the last few of my sketches.
hmm...think i'll end here lah eh.
anyway.he misses you.

Choices.& More choices.

2006-05-18T00:03:00.000+08:00

Anything is better than no contact at all.
But if you want to just let it go.
Say it.
People say i should'nt just give up liddat after all the efforts that i've put into it.
But what say you?
People say the path's clear for me.
But what say you?
People say that if i believe i can, i can.
But what say you?
People say that i can make you happy.
But what say you?
People say that this is what i really want.
But what say you?
I'm not good with words.
Neither am i a good talker.
Nor am i as a whole good enough.
But i'm trying to improve as a whole.
So even if you feel that i'm not worth the effort to reply, den it's fine with me.
What's another day without hearing from you after 2 weeks and counting.
Maybe i'm just making all this up in my head.
But really, what say you?

Am i just lucky or what.

2006-05-15T01:26:00.000+08:00

Words of encouragement.
Words of comfort.
Words of advice.
Words of concern.
Words of humour.
I am truly blessed to have this group of people as my friends.Wait,they're more than that.We're past that.Good people all of them.Far,Gwee,Xiat,Eng & Dolly.Thanks for having such wonderful sons.
To qoute from one of them."What man believe,man can achieve."
Dun be so pessimistic,things will work out one...in a way or another.so,dun feel that way.like what gwee said,you choose to take that path,it's your decision and even though you saw it coming, you still went for it. There's this phrase 'Nothing's stronger than a heart of the volunteer'(Got watch pearl harbour anot?haha.sounds familiar rite?Cos i learn it from there one. x=.heh)but well,in this case it's the willing.At least if you tried your very best and gave your 110%,even if you fail,you wun feel sorry for yourself.
It's our choice eh bro.

Bad.Good.Whatever.

2006-05-08T23:24:00.000+08:00

Life is just like a farris wheel.There'll be times when it's good and there'll be time when it's bad,however,just as much as how good times don't last,bad time don't too.nothing's permenant,nothing's for granted.does'nt mean that you'll have to work in that particular field after you've studied that course,no matter what you study.it's a fact,how many people you noe actually got to work in the areas of their study?not many.just as this chinese saying goes "Ren shi hou de"and something something,but wad's most important is the first part,the human is flexible.you've gotta have will power cos once you let others or circumstances decide your fate and your future,you'll have truly let yourself down.look at donald trump,he was brankrupt for 3 times.3 times.you'd have think that he'll let those 3 failures dictate his life but no,just look at where he is now.if you don't want donald trump,just look at LKY.Sure,he was devastated when Malaysia seperated from us.But did he give up and say,that's it singapore.we're done for?NO!He did'nt and made the most out of the situation then.Look at where we are now.If not,i'm sure that you noe all abt tht dreadful 4 months dat i've had.For 3 months.3months,i've been working in my dad's metal workshop.Everydae,it's 5.30 wakeup.everydae,i've to fabricate metal.how?grind it,weild it,cut it,drill holes or lathing.name it and i've done it all.usually,i'll be too tired after work and i'll go back home and sleep.then there's office politics in my workplace,workers complaining about the management,backstabbing each other,trying to get favours from me,wtf was i suppose to do?wages were not really something for me to cheer about,afterall,how happy would you be if you were paid only $18/dae by your dad for such hardwork?yeah,he saes it's to train me up.my mum said it too.and my gran and my relatives and leslie's mum and the people at the factory.till now,i'm still not sure about it.no life.no nothing.everyday is work and work.what's more,it's this kinda work.my life den really hit a new low,i was really just a souless person that time ,fresh injuries everyday,mixing with people at least twice as old as me,no one to care for me..so yeah it pretty much sucks.den the final month,i was transferred to the electrical department.there,i had to work at construction sites,drilling holes and hacking walls..yup,that was the kind of work that i had to do for a month.yup,four months of my life just gone liddat,in a way that i don't really prefer.But that's the past now and my life's just started to go for the better..which is at least wad i hope so...sorry to detract abit but really need to complain,haha,=X.My this course rite,even though it saes no examinations no nothing,it did'nt highlight the constant pressure and high workload part.just last week,i've finished my first project,working into late nites and even going without sleep on the dae before submission,which i'm kinda proud of btw...cos i've never managed to work thru nights before =D.heheh.den todae,just received instructions for my next project,even though it's teambase,but the workload don't lose out to primer 1,infact it's even more becos we actually have to build the model of the capsule and the whole thing as well..so yeah...another 4 weeks of late nights and everything.no time for pretty much everything.esp for her but she's busy as well,workload ain't really exactly that light too,does'nt really help dat i always call at the wrong time..bt nuff of dat and who ever said poly life is a breeze should really go get a life...anyway,back to the point,no matter how bad your circumstances or situation,always make the most out of it.not just for yourself.but for the people who care about you eh,dun go about things like me during those four months.be strong.and whenever you feel like faltering,there'll always be us,your brothers,here for you.shou zu qing sheng,xiong di yi shen.
sorry if you find it abit disorientating...cos i'm kinda tired and can't really orientate my thoughts properly...

世界唯一的你

2006-04-22T00:14:00.000+08:00

世界唯一的你

是你
第一眼我就认出来
这是命运最美的安排
是我
让你过长的等待
我们只要现在深爱
幸福就来
恨我来不及参于你的过去
抱歉让你等待
我愿意付出一切交换
我灵魂的另一半
这个世界唯一的你
是我拥有的奇迹
对我说的一字一句
都是我们的秘密
紧紧拥抱唯一的你
无可救药的坚定
就是世界与我为敌
我也愿意
我什么都愿意
过去所有的悲哀
都只是寻觅我唯一
勇敢真爱
照亮了漆黑的夜晚
寻找了一次一辈子
再不分开
恨我来不及参于你的过去
抱歉让你等待
我愿意付出一切交换
我灵魂的另一半
呜...耶....
是一个奇迹
对我说的一字一句
都是我们的秘密
紧紧拥抱唯一的你
无可救药的坚定
就是世界与我为敌
我也愿意
我什么都愿意
....呜...哦...
我愿意付出一切交换
我灵魂的另一半
ho ...哦...
就算让我伤尽天理
我什么都愿意为你
紧紧拥抱唯一的你
无可救药的坚定
就是世界与我为敌
我也愿意
我什么都愿意

blahblahblah.Advices.

2006-04-17T17:33:00.000+08:00

You said "Take things in my stride"
But i would like to add on to that line.
Take things in your stride and make the most of what you have.

Archi.

2006-03-24T22:18:00.000+08:00

Ok.I know this is like wayyyy long overdue,so i'll try to post a long one alrite?
So,finally,i'm done with enrolling into sp.which frankly (heh,Frankie.Remember?) involves tonnes of paper work which took quite a long time to finish,sort out and make sense of ALL of it.Not really the type of people who's good at the sorting,paperwork & organising type,so you can imagine the headaches and frustation PLUS the sense of "lost" that i had to suffer.but well,luckily for me,i had zhili to "blur" thru the whole process.Somehow,one way or another,we got enrolled.Anyway,we've thought that after collecting our lanyard we could go but then we were kinda "forced" to go through a series of rooms which lasted for about an hour or so,i used the term kinda "forced" because there were barricades around the whole place which pretty much means that we have to walk thru the area,kinda like animals being ushered for slaughter.First stop was those people from computer companies trying to urge us to buy laptops but unfortunately,we dun have the spending rights yet.But wad the heck lah,not as if laptops are essential to our studies or wad right.Then there was a whole list of other stops like student body groups and sch groups and the likes lah.Me and zhili joined a couple of orientation camps and we signed up for a few ccas like skating club(inline and skates) and this dunnoe wad,Primer wadever thingy.And we'll certainly sign up for canoe.I want canoe polo!haha.Hmm,there was a pleasant suprise todae lah.C,there's this slip of paper which is given to you when you enter the lecture theatre.Shows which course you'll be studying and guess what,my reads Diploma in Architecture!YAY!haha,got into the course i prefer lah,wanted to study interior architecture and design one but it's only offered by TP which is all the bloody way at Tampines.So can't choose that lah.Architecture's the next best thing i guess.Got Wei Yang in the same course so it's not all tht bad lah.Really hope tht everyone gets into what they really want,i'll be praying for you guys eh.Hmm wait,everyone,pray for them.Especially one of my best friend,Zhili.OK Pray for him till the dae he gets the notification from Ngee Ann.Hmm,think i'll end here eh,even though there are lots of topic tht i wished i could have covered in this post.Till then.Wun be long this time around,Promise.

1-0,to arsenal.

2006-02-22T06:11:00.000+08:00

Score line: 1-0
Can't be any happier than this.
Should have more goals one but Real's goalie,Casillas,was alert and denied us.
Anyway,the most important thing is, Henry scored,and we won the first leg of the match.What's significant is that Arsenal won in Bernabéu,being the first English team to beat Real in their own stadium.
Cinciho(dunnoe whether spell liddat) is a real joke.
Bloody diver.
Gonna call him Cinciho the Clown,CC for short.
Anyway,gtg for work le.Else i'll be late.
Back chance got date.

Go Arsenal Go!

2006-02-22T03:31:00.000+08:00

Match's starting.
Root for Arsenal eh.
Not some clubs with Beckham in it.
Haha,Beckhamist.
Go Arsenal Go!
Wearing my Henry Shirt now.
Go Henry Go too!haha.
Update after the Match =).

Class bbq.

2006-01-21T19:50:00.000+08:00

Yup,4E4 peeps,all of you.and i mean all of you,is expected to turn up on my house on the 4th of feb eh.I ain't asking,i'm telling yer.
Ha.lac,just kiddin.
But really lah,it would be great if all of you guys can turn up since we've not really met up as a class since the chalet,even then,not all turned up,so really hope that all of you can make it eh.
Big thanks to Kaihiong eh,really appreciate the effort that you've put in.Haha,did'nt really expected all that but a big thankyou to you all the same =).
My house's located in Bishan btw, no,i did'nt move house.
Just that i have a house there and the tenant's moving out on the 31st of jan to return to the states after working here for 2years.So,i thought it would be a shame not to put that place up for services to the class.Besides,it would be nice to have a get together once in a while.
A Bbq would be ok for you guys rite?Figured out that even if you don't really fancy a Bbq,it would be at least a reason to give to your parents eh.
Also,you guys are welcomed to spend the night at my apartment since there's really no one staying there 'cept for me lah.Anyway,this time, Chef Lim is not gonna marinate the chicken himself alone,as in the previous times,if you ate the chicken wings during the chalet,you'll noe why.So,Chef Chua is gonna marinate them himself,along with a few others like Chefs Koh,Kong,Lims,Ng and Ang,as the saying goes,the more the merrier.haha.
And if you wish to use the facilities there,eg. swimming pool,jacuzzi & tennis courts, you may come earlier and use them.Dun feel shy,cos the condo's is at the class's service.haha,sounds lame but hey,who cares?
Just a reminder to all,have something light before you come or bring along something which can make you erm,what's the word for it,err,not hungry?Cos i dun want any hungry stomachs that day,don't noe whether the food prepared is enough anot.But fret not,will do my best,and i'll try to pack my house full of junkfood and cupnoodles just in case you did'nt have enough at the bbq ; ).
Getting to my house is easy lah,just alight at Bishan Station and cross the Bridge to the other side of junction 8,and there you go,my house.
Having said all this,i really do hope that you'll all turn up.
P.S,if anybody wants to taunt at my place,please do bring something that can keep you warm and comfortable thru the night =).

Shine On.

2006-01-17T22:33:00.000+08:00

given every moment i had
still i can never seem to keep up with you
youre done with one mile and onto another one thousand
still i can never seem to keep up with you

i know youll be better off without me when im gone
you know youre, your beautiful
youre beautiful

shine on
you were made to
shine on
and you know i love you
and even if we can or cant be friends
ill be with you until the very end
so shine on, you were made to

its keeping me awake every night
but i can never seem to give up on you
i send up a prayer and im onto another one thousand
i can never seem to give up on you

i know youll be better off without me when im gone
you know youre, your beautiful
youre beautiful

shine on
you were made to
shine on
and you know i love you
and even if we can or cant be friends
ill be with you until the very end
so shine on, yeah

nobodys wrong, nobodys right
keep moving on..
shine on, yeah
you were made to shine on

shine on, you were made to
shine on, and you know i love you
and even if we can or cant be friends
were gonna be brighter than we've ever been
so shine on

youre gonna be just fine
oh, youre gonna be alright love,
youre gonne be just fine,
oh youre gonna be alright love..

Life.

2006-01-17T20:35:00.000+08:00

"It's life's challenges that makes success taste the sweetest."
Well,that was what Ms Dalina told me during graduation day.
Yup,it's true,no doubt about the phrase, success would really be the sweetest after a really difficult period of life is cleared.
But,what happens when it's not cleared?
When you have no idea of how to get out.
How to pick up.
How to face it all coming at once.
What happens?
I guess only time can give me that answer.
Pretending.
I'm really tired of it le.
Putting up a brave front to the outside world.
Not only because i have to,but also because i want to.
I dun wanna become a emotional burden to anyone.
Especially my family and my friends.
My family bcos i'm the eldest son, someone who's suppose to take care of both my parents and siblings.Someone who's suppose to be able to tackle any problem.
Traditional and irrelevant thinking in a age like this?
I beg to differ, because imagine seeing your elder brother break down and waste himself.
Call it ego,call it what you like but i'll never tell my parents about my problems.
Because it is my duty as the eldest son to help and not add on to their problems and worries.
I need to face all this alone.
Because that's the only way i believe i can pull myself out of this hole.
And it was when someone asked me whether i need her to guide me and see me through when i realise that there's no point.
Because someone once did and left.
And no one could nor can ever gave what she gave to me.
Even though she what she left behind gives me sadness but also comfort at the same time.
And if you ask me whether i'll go thru that one month again,doing all the things tht i'll noe it'l still end up this way.I would still.
Even if i know the outcome and could decide,
I'll still choose to try to suprise you by rushing down to harbour front to wait for you after work,but only to find out that you did'nt work that day.
I'll still choose to lie to you about being ok when i'm actually not.
I'll still choose to go wait for you in the middle of the night at your busstop after leslie told me something made you upset.
I'll still choose to make that stupid card.
I'll still choose to eat that fish
I'll still choose to talk to you till 1plus even though i've got to wake at 5.3o
I'll still choose to live through the 27th again.
I'll still choose to go thru all of that i've been through with you.
Even if the outcome is still the same.
Even if in the end,i'll be in this state.
All because you gave me so much and what i've done could never be enough.
And so,when you had a problem and lied to me about getting over with it already.
I felt so useless and frustrated,not with you,but with myself.Because someone told me what happened and i could do was to pretend that it's fine if you had got over it, and did'nt want me to know.
Perharps it was during then that i've consigned myself to reality.
That we'll not be like before.
So that was then when i realised that the only thing i could do for you was to fade into the past and make myself dissappear from your life.Slowly,but surely.

One month.28-27.

2005-12-28T22:23:00.000+08:00

I'm drained.Really drained.Spent and wasted.
Physically,i'm drained from work.
Mentally, i'm drained by you.
Now,i'm barely alive nor dead.
tired.Sick of this life.
I'm just a goddamn 16 year old.
Why is all this shit happening?y?
Once,i used to have you by my side.
Now, the only thing keeping me sane is gone.
It did'nt end the way i wanted it to be.
Instead, you left behind a trail of mental devastation on my side.
For the near future,i dun think i can truly step out of this mess.
That's how much you meant to me.
For one of the worst month of my life,you were there for me.
On the 28th,you stepped into my life.
On the 27th,you got out of it.
Perharps it's destiny.
i don't believe in such stuff.Wait,i did'nt use to believe in such stuff.
Now, you tell me how can i dun believe in this?
One month.
Even the time when it started and ended is the same.
And just the night before,i was telling leslie that i'll never,never become the third person to suffer their fate.24hours later, he proved me wrong.
Ha.
To think i've just probably spent the best christmas in my life tht day wif you.
Whenever i think of all the time spent wif you,my heartaches,literally.The kind of pain that makes you cringe on the floor.The kind of pain that makes a person throw himself into self despair just so he could avoid that pain.
It's only so painful not because all those memories were bad ones but rather, they are and still are, beautiful memories.Made more painful because i'll never be able to have moments like that with you again.
Why?Just why?
Maybe i did the right thing by not signing up for the 3 months provisional course at MI,this way,i would'nt have to stand the pain of not being able to, i dunnoe,can't find the phrase for it.
The irony,ha.
Smoking was something i condemned in the past.
It's bad for health and everything.
But it takes all the pressure and unhappiness away.
To my friends,i dun ask for ur forgiveness but only your understanding.
I know i've dissappointed you.
But it was because you cared too much.That now the only way for me to get out of this mess is by throwing myself into dispair and make myself numb to this pain that's tearing me apart bit by bit.
Why?Why must everything that i do make me remind myself of you.
Tried.But still,i can't get you off my mind.
To Zhili,Huixin,leslie and jia qian,thanks for being there for me yesterdae..
Shall end here...i can't take this much more...

Goblet of fire.

2005-11-19T02:26:00.000+08:00

Bonjour.Ha,must be wondering why i said bonjour instead of hello.Oh well,it's because i'm like totally smitten over Fleur,tht part veela champion.Went to catch the goblet of fire todae wif Han Cheng, violet & zhili. Would say tht the movie's not bad,but not really up to my expectation,everything's just bamb bamb bamb,moving onto the next part of the storey one part after the other.
Take the quiditch part for instance, it's 190 pages plus long in the book.Yet,it's only 5mins in the film,should give you a rough gauge of the pace of the film here.Thoroughout the film, Hancheng was like Oh...Ahh...OMG...whenever cleamency puso-something appeared.Was guilty of tht too,anyway,she's suppose to be a part veela in the book.So can't really blame us for getting smitten eh.
After the film,we went to orchard from Marina Bay,well,tht was where we caught our movie.And after trying to find a chicken rice stall in (yet) Far East Plaza, we went to cineleisure to eat long jong silver,only because we nearly could'nt find the shop and because the chicken was sold out. No Chicken = No Food =No Dinner.
Reached Home around 1130,saw crystal ,jia qian and Fab(bee) when i was about to alight.(they boarded the bus a stop before my stop.)
Did alot of thinking today, as in what i'm gonna do after my O's. But it was really a unneccesary thought as my dad has already drafted me into his company,which is almost like a rite of passage for me and my siblings in our transition in life.My sis has already finished her 'NS',But not yet ORD yet since we're liable to Call Ups and Mobilisations.But,i think tht she has it easy,bcos she basically just follow my mum around, going to the show room and stuff like tht.But me?Nah, no such good life. My dad's mechanical factory's located in Woodlands,work starts there at 8.15 .Worst thing is tht i have to travel there on my own,which pretty means tht i have to wake up at 6 in the morning.
Seriously,given the chance,i would prefer to work for someone,to gain experience in workplaces,something which i don't think i'll get in my dad's company.Some would be going like,Hey,he's the Boss son and you get the picture.Will have to work 10 times harder then everyone else to prove myself and my worth.
Speaking of work,i don't even noe wad i'm gonna do there.Can't possibly ask to go operate the machinces there,i'm pretty much a idiot about precision engineering stuff.All my dad said was i'm gonna be a apprentice there under the GM, since he'll only go to the company 2-3 times a week max.Now tht the O levels are ending,i'm actually hoping tht it won't end so fast.
Everything seems so strange,friends are looking for jobs and instead of asking them hey,done your holiday assements alrdy?I'll be asking hey,watcha doing now?
And,we won't be going to sch fer lessons anymore,looking back on those photos that we took on graduation day, i really felt sad.As was the the day before yesterday,where i woke up in the middle of the night and this thought just got into my mind.
I mean, think about it, just when you're getting settled into this lifestyle,it's taken away from you,and it's kinda abrupt.It's cruel,but i guess this is a phase where everyone has to go through. 4 years in Hua Yi gone past just like tht.Seems like just yesterday when i went up to this red table,with mr ting standing behind it and with a piece of paper tht was paste on to the front the reads NCC.I still can remember the day that i first stepped into 304. It was then that i realise that i could actually enjoy coming to school just because i'm in a truly fantastic class.10 years down the road, we would be still talking about how we used to tease Mr Lee Hsiang Wei, how we love Ms Lui,how tht Jackass ruin our BBq, how we use to sleep(yup,whole class) in Ms Sui's geography lessons,how Mr Lee always said add Substance LHH to this and that,how Ms Goh was like when she was trying to teach us hwo to pronounce Prayer properly,how Mdm Fong was really MaMa Fong to us,how we used to find Mr Ting's lessons boring,how,well this might be esclusive to me, Mdm Yeo used to throw me out of the class and the universal sign i gave her,how the DM asked the whole class to meet him in GO,ha,everybody was like squeezing fer space then!How the class really united during Adam Khoo,can't really see but it could be Felt.How we would be saying we're really Ms Lui's favourite class because she delicated 2-3 slides to us and how other classes were only getting Half a slide if they were lucky,how leslie was Singing always in the class and being irrelevant,still remember tht sentosa trip tht han cheng nearly drown?Imagine how his kids would react 10,15 years later during one of our reunions.
Having said so much,i guess what i was trying to say all these while was : Thank you 4E4,for these 2 marvelous years and for making such a impact on my life, all of you, 4E4, rawk on!

I'm not enviable right now.

2005-11-07T16:55:00.000+08:00

Gonna take a break from all that studying,a short one that is.
Slept for only 3-4hours this morning.
Wanted to go to sleep earlier but there was this voice that kept calling me to the TV remote.
"Grab tht goddamn remote eh 'arry?press 23.Go on,easy does it."
"Now,I ain't asking you.I'm telling yer...."
Something kept it on repeat.
Finally couldnt stand it,so i went to turn on the TV and did what that voice said.
Initially,i was telling myself that i would go get some slack after the first goal.
Which happened during the 31st minute.Then,this little voice came into my head again.
"Aiyah,since it's gonna be half time soon,why not watch it till then?"
And that i did.
Until Louis came along and handled me the controller.
Up until this time, i was trying hard to psycho myself into going to bed.
But i always had a weak spot for the PS2.
So,this little devil came up again and said."Go on,just one match.Won't do much harm i would say."
But then,when the match i had with my brother was over,my dad was back.
"Wah Lau, Man U score 1 liao."
"Huh?You support chelsea arh?"
"Orh,went to buy chelsea win."
"Really arh?But you...."
and we kinda kept on talking until it was around the 80th minute or so.
John Terry got a note from Mourinhou.Did some funny hand signals.
Anyway,match was kinda dissapointing though.Not because Man U won.
But it was because there was only one goal.Great football though.
Sucks that Arsenal is a point below Man U.
Eh, Violet,dun Smugact,still early in the Premier League.=P
Speaking of Arsenal, Van Persie been's really on form.
Just that the way he run is abit weird.Reminds me of those Spainards running.
Oh,and today's the first day for the Os,
Felt real good after the first 2 papers.Won;t say that it's easy or what.
Had some careless mistakes in Paper 1.Namely that Cuboid one.
Social studies?Could'nt be any better,mainly because of the SEQs.
Luckily got prepare for Venice.Source base wise, it's abit tricky lah.
Don't think will score in that.
Something happened though,after the papers.
Really changed my mood.
Sucks to happen at a time like this.
Could really do with a spin now.
Luckily,there's someone who's guilding me out of this.
Having chemistry tml, my weakest subject,wish me the best of luck ;).

Breakaway

2005-09-17T13:34:00.000+08:00

So long since i've last blogged.
Changed my blogskin.
Prelims are more or less over, still have got the Pratical to do.
Wun blog again till den.

A tribute to you boy...

2005-08-18T18:29:00.000+08:00

A tribute to Boy Boy....
the greatest and bestest hamster to ever set foot on this planet...

The best.....

Coolest dude around the estate...
Sadly, his life has ended this morning..
when a cat broke into my house and ate him and two of his pups for breakfast...
damn the prepertrator....
Go Burn in hell and rot in heaven...
BLOODY FUCKING CAT...
Dunch let me get my hands on you...
Dunch ever...

40 kinds of sadness

2005-08-01T20:13:00.000+08:00

Today's chasing me around
I go crazy when you're outside of my world
When you're outside of my world
No sounds singing me to sleep

I don't want the room to breathe
Just be with me...
Just be with me

I feel 40 kinds of sadness when you're gone.
I feel the same thing always happens when you're gone
And i know you're just around the corner
But just around the corner is not enough
It's not enough
My eyes are waiting at the door
Just like every time before
Time flies so slow...
Time flies so slow!

[Chorus]
I feel 40 kinds of sadness when you're gone.
I feel the same thing always happens when you're gone
And i know you're just around the corner
But just around the corner is not enough
It's not enough

It's not enough, I don't know why
It's not enough, I miss you all the time
And I know you kinda like it.

Chorus]
I feel.. yea.. 40 kinds of sadness when you're gone.
I feel 40 kinds of sadness when you're gone.
I feel the same thing always happens when you're gone
i know you're just around the corner
But just around the corner is not enough
It's not enough

Depression...

2005-07-28T20:17:00.000+08:00

It's been a week now since my grandma has passed away...
8 days since i've last talked to her...
I miss her so...i really do...
It's so hard fer me to come back to my house now...
even more so when i'm alone, or in my grandma's room...
the pain is really unbearable...
I'm just so mad..
mad at the so called gods who took her away from me,my family...
it's just so sudden...
if only i could turn back time to a week ago...
i would've come back straight home from sch...
and tell my grandma how much i love her...
how important she is to me and my family...
how sorry i am for being such a useless grandson..
but i can't now,and this really kills me so..
it's just lyk you want to rip your heart out of yourself and cry lyk there's no tml..
bt the truth is,i can't now,and never would i be able to...
I feel lyk such a useless brother to my brother louis...
I saw him crying in my grandma's room the morning the day b4...
it was 4a.m...
i opened the door and saw him in there...
but i didnt do my capacity as the eldest son to comfort him...
i just left and closed the door..
went back to find comfort in my room..
it's still bloody painful to recall all these memories...
and during the wake, icould see him going to my grandma's side and cry
again i did nothing and turned away...
it's just simply too heartwrenching for me...
everywhere in the house just floods me with my grandma's memories..
even in this room...
memories of her coming into the room, telling me to go have my dinner...
but now..there'll be nobody to tell me dat...
nobody whom i can call ah ma...
i just want her back....
just give her back to me...
there's still so much tht i wanna tell her,show her...
i want to bring her to different places for meals....
there's just so much i wanna do wif her...
i haven do my part as a grandson...
God,I just hate you..
go burn in hell...

So dead n alive.

2005-07-13T21:13:00.000+08:00

HA!I didnt fail my poa test...*does a war dance..*
Kinda suprised me,bcos i didnt study fer it and i didnt really understand the chapter;wif me only having a period of poa last week which really was kinda the only real lesson i had last week.HA!
But i'm so dead now too.
Only remembered tht i told miss dalina tht i'll go lookin fer her after sch only after i've REACHED home.
Felt lyk a jerk?totally.
and UgH,her homework,it's killing me.Fer the record,i still owe her one CRE and one compo,which i haven had the darnest idea of wad i'm suppose to write and on top of all this,she gave us another assignment todae; compo abt dissapointment,did badly fer tht,only 11/30.
waste paper+pen ink.Not just one sheet hor,is abt a few sheets.
Anyway, i dunch intend to do the compositions,having a brain drain nowadaes,even the one i did fer my test,i did it halfheartedly.Wrote fer the sake of writing.
She wants quality work?haf to wait i guess.
Y write fer the sake of writing?besides,all my inspirations will come running back to me this sat,after i'm done wif at least half the chapters of harry potter and the halfblood prince.
Speaking of which,it's only 2 daes til the launch of the book.
Really envy those kids who are gonna be attending JK's launch at Edinburgh.
Gonna post some pictures of Edinburgh here.

Edinburgh Castle.Nice right?Gonna buy one 1 of these daes...

Another view of it,this time in winter.

Sir Walter Scott Monument.Creepy but nice.

There's Subway in Edinburgh!so you dunch have to worry about ur food when ur in Scotland.

Edinburgh by night,kinda nice isn't it?
Well,that's all fer todae's posts,so long...

Woah...It's been along time eh..

2005-07-11T19:03:00.000+08:00

Quite some time since i last post eh...
Is either dun haf mood or no time...
Did'nt really attend sch fer the whole of last week
cos quite sick lah...
den both my grandmothers are in hospitals now.
so kinda lyk shuffling between these 2 hospitals now...
Dunnoe wad'ssup wif god or wadever..
seems to me lyk he's very keen to screw up my life..
bt all those stuffs have been settled,more or less..
Just wanna be greatful fer the current situation lah..
now since tht all the major problems are gone..
and todae shld be quite a cause fer some kinda celebration fer me lah...
My Grandma's back frm the hospital,discharged wif a clean bill,can't ask fer more...
den my another grandmother is doing quite well in hospital oso,hope can see her more often..
bt the bloody hospital is all the way at Novena there..
And Gal Gal gave birth to six adorable pulps or baby hamsters...
seem like so surreal?haha,dunnoe lah...wadever..
Just hope tht all six make it through the month,den everything would be A OK...more or less lah i think..
Yups,will update again tml..cya..

Sibei GY....

2005-06-29T18:35:00.000+08:00

alrite...time fer an update...
been kinda busy n moody these few daes?
not really in the mood to really study bcos of tht bbq thingy...
makes me feel lyk i'm back in the first term,when i haf to go to the GO almost everydae...
after and during sch;i was one of the cases pending fer review by the principle to see whether i shld be caned?
tht was one of the worst times i had this year?did'nt really felt lyk studying,food tasted bland to me,sch makes me sick...the fear of being called to the stage by the DM for public caning...
and now the feeling's back again...
damn sure it was bcos mr raziak called out my name during assembly on mondae..
raziak"harry cai and pupils frm 4e4 ...."
i was stunned and shocked....by the way he described things,u've tot of us as muggers..
turns out tht scumbag chan sai hoon had written a report abt the class not having had permission to bbq in sch and so and so....
made us look real bad...
in the HOD room...i saw the report and kinda read it....
had my bloody name in every bloody paragraph...
no wonder DM called my name out...
bloody hell...how could he do something liddat to me?
for tht i'll make him pay hell fer just by bringin back those dreadful feelings again...
who was him to do dat to me?!
and the only thing i did was to make arrangements fer the bbq wif him...
now he's throwing everything back to me?to us?
is tht even fair?and to think tht u're our form teacher-FORM TEACHER...
ugh!..
the only mistake i recon we made was to ask a scumbag lyk you to be the teacher in charge of the bbq...
and he evn accuse us of staying overnight?..
heck,the whole group of them went home,he saw it,i saw it..
i was staying bcos of the ncc camp...
as fer the four boys who returned..
can you blame them?
dey certainly had permission to stay in the sch wif permission by mr amraan.
and you can't jolly well expect them to return home during midnight can't you?
imagine if you had told your parents tht your going to taunt at sch...
and you end up knockin on the doors at arnd midnight....
wad would your parents think?wad would dey sae?would your credibility in their eyes be lyk ever b4?
anyway,bottom line is,we did do everything by the rules,no matter wad you sae in your report chan sai hoon,and why have'nt you been turning up fer sch this few daes?according to the DM,you'll only be back next week...do you expect this mess to be cleared in the time you are away?
well,fer your information,the DM has told us to go n settle wif you,b4 presenting the case back...
and now,everything's thrown back to us.US! you bastard,shrieking your responsiblity lyk this..
dunch you noe tht it is a bloody act of cowardice you moron?
this incident has also bought out the true colours of some of my classmates...
one said something dat i'll never ferget him for,selling off ppl just to save your on butt,it makes me sick,no matter wad you sae ltr on,u certainly has made your impression on me...
someother's,lyk this certain someone, won't even show some concern pertaining to this matter;took a back seat instead and hopes to watch a show unfold...
you just make me plain SICK...
dunch you noe wad you said or rather typed disgusted me?just totally.
hey,i too can get out of this mess becos i was in a camp,and when the bbq started,ncc was having a bbq too;could have said tht i went over bcos i saw my class and form teacher,since it was OTOT den,i could go anywhere i want...
bt did i try to weasel out of this mess?no,i did'nt..
rmbr,it's wad you do in times like this tht show who you really are...
so to some,i pretty much have a idea of who u really are...
dunch expect the class to be behind you when something happens to you becos you were'nt there fer the us when something happened.
still rmbr adam khoo?
everyaction has a direct consequence.
so when the time comes,don't whine abt having no frens and such bcos you DESERVE it.
so if your any of this ppl,go reflect on yourselves,your actions and words...
and yes,chan sai hoon,you too...
because if we aren't entitled to fairness frm the sch,we'll blow things up even more;since you lyk to do so yourself...

2005-06-26T16:50:00.000+08:00

Mazda 323,
hees,
my ride...
although everything is stock bt still chio rite?

Tom Cruise getting it in the face...

Anzac class frigates firing 76 mm cannon....

Lancer Evo 8....
how i wish it could be mine rite now.

Blcc and homework

2005-06-26T03:20:00.001+08:00

todae's quite a usual dae?as in meeting up wif de 4 of them to do homework if u consider doing half a mindmap to be at any rate doing my homework.
sat down fer no more than fourty minutes and we went str8 to the basketball court at blcc to play bball...
hmm,was quite shiok at first,bcos tiong nam was winning over paul frank and bai kah...
kinda lyk taking candy frm a kid?
den tht master key come...
things started to get tough frm den on.real tough.
2 vs 3...kinda handicapped.
lost tht round i think...
and the nxt one too...haha...kinda just lost all the match..
bt it was hilarious though...kept throwing jokes at each other...
luff till stomach cramp?how to play bball i ask you?haha
den dat master key...very ker chi hor....open mouth close mouth shout out ah beng...
jing G Y...
last match was kinda serious?
kinda tense and neck to neck,in terms of scores...
we played 21 points mah..
den both teams 20...
Kim Kim ball was scored by me..haha..
supplied magnificently by our mr kok kok...
and when i was trying to shoot dat time..
dunnoe wad got over zhili..
just went wild and kept screaming "shoot the ball!shoot the ball!shoot the bloody ball!!!!"
den he was back to himself again...haha...mood swing...
Saw one of my fren's blog?who posted a picture of the four of them in the heads..
kinda rude i think?i mean it should be at least polite to ask permission to post the picture....
and by saying your ashame and gross out,i feel tht it's an insult...
true,you haf your own unique opinions and views bt shld'nt you at least consider how those four tht were posing fer tht picture would feel?
how would you feel if someone just took a picture from you and posted it on another website and criticizes it?you'll feel pissed off most defintely...
sure,i'm not in the picture bt those are my frens in there and i feel tht it's wrong...
seriously,i feel tht you shld go reflect on your actions.nuff said.

one word: SHIOK!

2005-06-24T15:17:00.000+08:00

hees....kinda grinning all over now?
just went out wif keith to take a spin on my family's spare car,which is a
mazda 323,haha old model...bt engine is still good?lols..
did some rubber burning?went to drift?haha...can feel the goddamn road very clearly...
hmm...this is the best part,
i drove the 323 frm juying there all the way to my hse?
nervous?u bet....
my leg was trembling when i was stepping on the gas?haha yea..
kept on using my left foot to brake when keith was telling me to do it wif my right foot?
hahas,
i'm still itching fer more....

How to get your car going from P gear to D gear...(auto gear)
1)Start your engines.
2)Keep your right foot on the brakes.
3)Release the hand brake(still keeping your right foot on the brakes)
4)Shift the gear to D(which is fer cruising)
5)Gently,release the footbrakes and step on the gas abit.
now your good to go!

arghhh!!

2005-06-24T03:29:00.000+08:00

zz.z.zz....it's been 20 hours or so since i've woken up?haha...dun intend to go to slp after i've passed some stuff to keith?
hmm..anyway,a quick update of these past few daes...
hmm..mostly been to je library wif the usual co.?
ding zhi finished his hw,mindmaps and all....
i however...only manage to finish my chemistry n maths....
haven even started on my mindmaps...
geography 11 plus history's would add up to so many mindmaps....
*sigh*....hopefully,the next few daes would be enuff fer me to finish them all.
holidays are coming to an end soon?
E o levels are drawing closer and closer....
something my tuition teacher said kinda unnerved me....
said something abt ought to master my subjects by this time....
i'm begining to doubt whether i'll haf the commitment to really study hard thru these 4 months or so..
tot about forming a study group?
would tht really help?i'm not sure..
maybe try fer a few weeks?
o levels seems scary to me rite now....
esp fer my chemistry....my mind dunch really register anything abt it rite now..
n i sucked at it?nah...infact,i think i sucked at every subject rite now...
gotta buck up?you bet...
expenses this month are leaving my pocket dry..real dry...
bad financial management?not really..
sucks to be poor?hell yeah...

neighbours...

2005-06-21T11:19:00.000+08:00

eh,u tink living in a neighbourhood like my would save you from rude n excessive loud neighbours?
the answer is no.
lemme start off wif this woman?
she's always screaming at her top of the voice at this poor kid.
yup,sure tht kid has done something mischieveous and wrong bt does it warrent tht?
she lives abt 7-8 units away frm me?and it's not even in the same row of houses!
she's been doing this fer quite sometime a few months ago,bt stopped after a complaint from a few of the neighbours.
she did it again this morning n yesterdae's morning.
and she woke me up yesterdae n this morning.
there's this army camp behind my house,and they were like having this shooting excersice all morning?
GPMG and 25mm cannons cannot wake me up bt she could.
shows you the power of her voice eh.wif a wicked voice like hers.
she could be RSM of SAF or NCC...
warrant christopher's voice oso not dat loud.
besides,he tried once to wake the camp up by standing in the middle of the parade square and shouting fer us to fall in?
he failed miserably.fer those who had been to camp pin'05,you should noe wad i mean..
anyway,back to her.
she can keep on ranting at the top of the voice fer an amazing fourty five minutes?
i swear,if she tryies to pull off another stunt liddat tml morning or the dae after or whenever,
i'll be dialling 999.
then there's this neighbour who lives directly besides me.
his dogs,all chihuahua's,are very noisy,especially at night.
he had 2 originally?den somehow it boomed to 5.
heard tht he was helping to takecare of the other 3 dogs.
let them be gone asap.i would like my life to go back the path of the peacefulside.
in the morning got crazy woman shouting like there's no tml.
at night,i've gt 5 dogs barkin like there's no tml too.worse still,they entice the other dogs to join in their ochestra.
bt tht's not the end of it.this neighbour staying directly beside me happens to be my father's secondary school friend.and his youngest son(he has a total of 3 sons,5children all in all)happens to be the same age as me.and we happen to meet at a kinda young age,n we are neighbours since primary 2?
kinda growed up together.
bt there's a problem...
he treats my house as his house?coming over when he feels like it.
everytime he comes over,he has a routine.
first,he stops by the fridge.see whether got anything?nothing?grab a can of soda or wadever then he proceeds to come n find me.
den he goes off n find my sister.bt on somedaes,he tinks he's a PTI?(physical training instructor?)
asking my brother to do this n dat,well,you see,my brother is abit obese fer his age.
Or he uses the computer when nobody else is using.
can you imagine sometimes when you wake up you see your neighbour lookin at you or playing wif your ps2?arrghH!not dat i hate him or wad,i mean he's a kinda great guy to be wif,you noe,those sort of person who you can just tok cok fer hours?we used to do tht?
bt nt anymore bcos sometimes i feel tht he's trying to be the man in the house when i'm around,usually i would just sit n observe and step in when he's too much fer my taste?
hmm,just haf to get use to it?he's like a family friend you noe,my grandma even said she found another grandson?haha...sometimes,life just sucks in this neighbourhood bt other times,it could be quite fun...

bbq pics

2005-06-21T00:21:00.000+08:00

Nicked all these from hancheng's blog...=P

the pit tht we use...kinda pathetic is'nt it?nah..not really.

a picture speaks a thousand words?han cheng in action...

hey it's a cow!it's darth sideuos!nah...u bimbos,it's darth violet!the one who's been coming to a blog near you from a long time ago where lightsabers are still puny.

chatterbox...

2005-06-20T23:45:00.000+08:00

alrite,time fer my update...
ydae was father's dae?
ydae was good,at least we did'nt try to yell at each another n rip the heads off.
had dinner at chatterbox?which by the way claims tht it's chicken rice is the best in town?
hmm,my verdict?not really...
tasted better?n dey dunch cost as much as 17.80per set.
n by per set,dey meant one bowl of rice.
generous serving of chicken?heh,tht's one of the good points?
3 different types of bloody sauce.we had,ginger source?chilli n dark source.
a bowl of soup?not really dat tasty...bt good enuff.
de rice is not as nice as b4?i felt tht it was abit overcooked?
dey bcome more kiam siap?2 years ago gt veggies in oystersauce in addition to tht plus more rice?
hey i'm a big eater ok?so i mind the amount of rice...
den the chicken?now i noe why is it "better"than the rest?not really all though.bt in general.
it is soak in lots of seasoning.those oily oily source which are well,oily.
nightmarish to those who fears getting fat?bt welcomed by skinny ppl like me?haha..
as fer the fish n chips there.it sucks to the core.
everything.well,cept fer the fries?it's kinda crunchy n not soggy at all?bt its damm
OILY.
so fer a sucky meal.we,i mean my siblings n i, had to pay $152.65?
so not worth it.bt my dad saes he kinda miss it?bobian...
hmm...as fer todae...
went to je library n "study" wif yong zhen,zhili,fabian n ding zhi?
was talking the every other minute, so ended up not really finishing much.
around 6plus liddat den went back...gt 2 games on the way..
some will noe wad i mean...=)
hopefully,i'll be more focus tml?yup..dat's all fer todae...
oh..read in one of my class mate's blog tht she wanna grow taller?
hmm,if i can,i would surely donate the 5 cms to you,maybe even more?haha...
i'm like way to friggin tall fer christ sake..
meanwhile,i'm oso on a path to pyscho myself.
12.those tht noe wad i mean.erm,AIM FER IT?!hahas..

P.O.P Camp...

2005-06-17T20:47:00.000+08:00

finally!back frm my camp le,dunch really want it to end but all good things come to an end dun dey?certain memories lyk the first time i've ever went out to taunt wif my friends all over the island?how jw's face went red after drinkin alittle bit of beer?
well,on the first night,me,mingcheng,jiawei and zhen lin went to taunt in keith's minivan,jia wei's face got maroon red after he tried to down his 500ml tiger?at changi beach everything was bloody black wif nothing but the moonlight?the beach was kinda cool,bigger n cleaner than east coast's?first time seeing planes doing ILS approach in the late night?really nice n memorable as the planes were all so brightly lit against a dark background.stayed there fer abt an hour n a half b4 we moved off.drive past the jetty as we were coming out frm the carpark,saw women or should i sae transvittes hookin arnd the carparks,totally gross out by them.eeks.
kinda had a race wif a honda accord?we lost in the end?come'on ours was a wad?mini van versus a race car?lost tht bloody car when we turned into a construction site.
anyways,we went arnd touring some other places b4 heading to town.by then jia wei was puking lyk mad into a plastic bag?said it was his first time drinking?stopped at a 7-11 beside the pan pacific n bought some candy n water.gave jia wei some choclate,read tht it helps to make the person feel better as feel more warm=more secure=much better.went to park at this erm,park under cte's flyover over the mouth of singapore river?jia wei n keith both fell aslp?one was sick n the other still needs to drive the nxt morning.me,mc n zhen lin walked to the esplanade n then crossed the esplanade highway to one fullerton,walked non stop fer wad?1hr 15 mins?headed back to sch the next morning.
out of the five of us,only me n zhen lin remained in sch whilst the others went home,(keith made a drama entrance n took both me n zhenlin's bag along wif him)the both of us just slpt thru morning.weechong came n woke me up,tried to go back to slp again,couldnt,went down to have lunch?budden micheal n another part a cadet was walkin up halfway when we bumped into them.had lunchboxes on their hands,said it was meant fer us?haha,thanks btw.went to the canteen n ate,bachang n christopher tan sat besides us?haha,kinda tense sia the atmoshpere.
had a heavy lunch?went back to slp.felt tht i had something on?woke up at arnd 2 plus.checked mi phone,1 miss call,keith.Shit,was to get our stuff frm him?called him,he said it was wif teck loong?phew,felt relief....
went to bathe at the staff toliet.Bloody hell,the water is warm,not cold,warm.
had a rather uneventful afternoon?
classmates came arnd 6plus?grabbed a couple of quick bites.8'oclock,went to settle down near the bookshop there wif the other part ds?the coy. had some kinda performance fer us,kinda neat actually,esp the part As one,someone actually mentioned tht i looked fierce to him,haha,heard something abt scaring the shit outta him the first daE?lols..
did one last hakka at the request of the whole coy.*sigh*
hmm,something happened on the class side?mr chan said dat we'arent s'ppose to taunt in sch fer the whole night.pulled me aside and told me to tell the class tht it's better fer them to go home,something to tht effect.some argument started ,some started to feel lousy,all mood was lost?hehe,sneaked off somewhere.
managed to sneak a pic wif hui xin?
anyway,it ended up wif de whole lot of the class going to west coast to taunt.did'nt feel tht it was safe fer them to go this late?bt who was i to sae anything?
police car came.approached some cadets,went over to see wad was the problem.turns out,someone had triggered the sch alarm?dunch noe.in the end,some guy came n fixed it.someone had opened our classroom(4E4)gonna get it on mon.
went up to our bunk?teck loong n chuan kiat playing ps2?the rest watching?went to join them.
at arnd 3plus,i fell aslp while waiting fer my turn,the effects of the first nite having taken the toll on me.bt i trashed keith 4-0 fer the record.hees.
the next dae,woke up at arnd 8 plus,the rest of the bunk pretty much still slping cept fer keith?he went to take the part c fer their IFC test.wentdown,only to find out tht breakfast was over.damm,in this whole camp,never did i have a breakfast consumed.guess some bloke ate my up.=( (haha,wasnt the only one,the part ds all didnt have any breakfast.)
had a pic taken together wif keith,jiawei,zhenlin,mingcheng and teckloong after e camp?tht's all bah.i guess this is the end of the chapter of a part of my life?something tht i've hate n love fer 4 years.

pottermania!!

2005-06-14T18:39:00.000+08:00

Argh!!i just want the nxt installment of harry potter out!can't wait to receive it n see how things are unveiling in potterverse!!!
i tink i'm kena by pottermania?
Amazingly,i finished reading the 5 books in abt wad?5 daes?
N i still had time to go n read fanfictions posted in www.mugglenet.com
i would recommend the lost witch,dunch noe the author bt it's good though,just not finished yet..
did you noe tht there's actually ppl selling wands n broomsticks made in real wood?robes n snitches?here, post u the link.(ps,dunch tink tht it's cheap,all prices are listed in us$ n not sing$!bt u could win either a wand or a broomstick if ur lucky though!)
http://www.alivans.com/

lovely to have are'nt these?
wait,tht's still not the last of my pottermania!haha
watched the last 3 movies frm 1 to 6 plus this morning!(n erm,yah yz,this's the reason why i overslpt,haha,hope u dunch mind..=P)
can't wait fer the goblet of fire to be out!!oh,i'm lyk so totally going gaga over this harry potter thingy,just watched the trailer of the movie?looks promising!
haha,tht'll be all.
will only update after i've gotten back frm my camp on fri?till then...

Midnight shopping...

2005-06-12T07:00:00.000+08:00

hees,went midnight shopping ydae wif e family at suntec city,nt really very different frm shopping during the usual operating times,however,one thing really stood out,the things there were really bloody cheap as compared to the pricing during normal operating times.bought a few shirts,nthing else.
saw this bloody good bike at carrefour,titanium frame,airsuspension,padded sit,disc brakes n unbelievable gear wif the pricing being more unbelievable,S$2,880.if only i had the money,i would buy this bike but unfortunately,i dun n neither will my dad allow me to buy one.used to had 2 bikes at home,tht was during the primary sch daes n tht was b4 i lost the both of them due to various accident.Lost the first of the bike when i was trying to avoid hitting into an elderly woman,turned sharply,got thrown off the bike,n it was sent onto the road.as it is a main road,lots of cars passes thru it.got went over by a truck n a car,e frame ,gears n everything else just went piak....
Lost the second one behind mi hse.was going down slope as usual,bt the mud was loose,due to the rain the dae b4,hit the front brakes abit too hard,got thrown off the bike again,n the bike was machiam lyk flying thru air lyk dat n ended up in the drain.
after tht incident,tht was the last i've ever owned a bike.='(
anyways,kaihiong sent me some files at 3.45a.m in the morning...
yz was online too when i came online,must be playin his online games.
rain check,0720,still online,must still be playing his game.

eh,wad's yz lookin at??

hees,doing a micheal jackson here,diff boy this time,diff expression too,he's nt happy,he's petrified by me...

physics

2005-06-09T18:38:00.001+08:00

yeah,gonna do plenty of bitching in this post abt my physics teacher.i dunnoe how or dunnoe why she's always picking on me?issit just me or wad?cos everytime when it's her lesson,she's bound to call my name out and whenever i try to reason wif her,she labels me as rude.wtf?dun i haf the right to defend myself or wadsoever?then todae,she toks abt my class's mid yr results fer physics,said she was dissapointed and we did not meet the target fer set by the school.den she complains abt our class being kinda slow as other classes had covered more chapters then us,wtf,how dare she actually sae this out.
b4 the exams and holidaes,she told us(my class) tht she's confident tht she can finish wad need to be taught when asked by my class to give xtra lessons.and now she's actually saying tht we're behind other classes n it's our fault?next,she said tht we should be motivated to study n workhard since we ATTENDED THE BLOODY ADAMKHOO WORKSHOP,man this is really low.has'n she take into account her SICK n UTTERLY DISGUSTING N REPULSIVE FACE?are we really s'ppose to be motivated when we look at tht thing?n her voice,there's actually no expression in it!it's just all monotone and i could actually thought tht she was callin someone else when she was actually calling me?
i would be able to slp wif my eyes open after usually 5mins after her lesson starts.10 if i had just come back frm reccess.2,when it's really cold.N 4,if it is a sunny,humid n lazy afternoon.her freakin voice is just lyk a lullaby,tempting n taunting me to go to slp.i know physics is boring bt how come i did'nt find it boring last year when it was taught by someone else?the key is to make physics interesting n keep the student's interest wif it.however,her special ablities n characteristics has finally made me lost interest in physics n ultimately hating it.so, as far as i'm concerned,if the sch really wants something to be done in order to meet their more than 30% distinction fer science,they'd better change this freak to someone who actually teach fer godsake n not just anyallhow take a self centered BITCH to teach us!anyone frm the sch management reading this?oh btw,she's so freakin unreasonable tht it's unbelievable!eg.take wad happen todae fer example. btw,b4 this happened,she had just caught a most unfortunate student fer talkin n made him stood.her"x,stand up" X"wad fer?i did'nt talk!i just turn arnd only!" (now,as i'm sitting rite infront of x,i can vouch fer him dat he did not even open his mouth,much less talk)
her"i dun care,u stand.."
wad happen next was tht X bobian,gotta stand or else she would send him fer caning,noe this becaused i got into trouble wif her once n nearly got caned publicly,got away only wif the help of some of the more better,kinder,great teachers unlike this freak,who tried to salvage herself infront of me by tryin to make me look better infront of the principal,bt it is wif utmost regret fer me to inform her tht her actions only serve to make me haf negative thoughts abt her more.fer more enqiuries regardin this freak,send me an email or message n i will make arrangements FOC fer any of you who wants to view this uniquely singapore freak.

lamborghini...

2005-06-08T21:04:00.000+08:00

kinda tired to really post anything todae,maybe tml i'll update more.
anyways,saw this yellow lamborghini outside the grand hyatt.damm cool,looks fast ever though it is still parked.seriously,i tink i would galdly change my dream car frm the mclaren f1 to the lamborghini galladaro.touched it wif my very own hand fer the first time,cool.=)
read abt this 9 yr old singaporean boy lost at fraser hill in malaysia wif his cousins.a day has already passed.hope tht he could be found soon,hopefully wif just a growling stomach.the jungles of malaysia are really very scary by night.experience this myself when i went to climb mt.ophir last year.turns dark at arnd 6.no lights,no nothing,just plain darkness n the sounds made frm the animals.freaky.

hees, lamborghini.touched it.will own one soon.hopefully=)...

yay!we won...

2005-06-07T19:18:00.000+08:00

yeah...we won todae's bball match against 4e1 score is 44-26.hee,scored the first goal of the match.quite shiok n feel quite sastified wif myself.bt i tink my performance kinda suck todae?missed a few rebounds,screwed up when i tried to do a layout,missed my free throws..=(bt wad the heck,we still won todae's match =P.
btw,todae's Dday plus 1....

aerial photograph of omaha beach on dday plus one...

can you imagine landing rite in a machinegun's field of fire?zeroed in by 3-4 artilery pieces,a garrison of a few thousand krauts?n you still have to pass thru a landmine to be "safe".Well,these man did just tht,many having killed the moment the landing craft opened.value freedom cos these man died fer it...

pics..

2005-06-06T21:04:00.000+08:00

hehe..found out how to load pics on to the webbie le...yeah!btw...thanks to Han cheng...you've been a great help,haha you should noe wad,and a real great fren...though we may not see eye to eye on everything but wad happen todae...did'nt really intended it to go tht way..guess it all boils down to pride eh..lols..bt so gald we left tht behind us...
Todae...had my first chemistry lesson since may ended,wasnt all tht i kinda expect it to be...heck,i dun tink it even qualified as a lesson as some of us(me included=),didnt bring our mid yr paper and tht really pissed him off.kinda lectured us fer an hour plus and me along wif those who did'nt bring our paper just stood there fer the whole of the bloody lecture,however,there is no complains here, can feel wad he feels lyk,cos these kinda things happen all the bloody time in ncc.well,wad he said did make sense n i can really feel tht he is tryin his best to help us but we being the brats,had to piss him off.His fingers were lyk shaking n vibrating when he's scolding us,damm power...bt hmm,to make me feel better about myself,i tink i would post my "excuse",haha,well had actually took both papers out this morning n i was tinkin whether i bring them along bt then i thought we had actually finish going thru these n therefore,there was no need to bring them.Obviously,my memory failed me,as like on countless occasions...dang,tink i better go buy an elephant brain n either cook it n eat or install it into my brain..
gonna have this basketball match wif 4e1 tml,w/o fabbie,i feel some loss,cos he's the type of person who has this great personality n everytime we play together,i could really sense it so w/o him,definitely can feel the difference.Oh and if anyone of u is frm 4e1...let me tell u in advance,we WILL DESTROY u guys..haha..=P
saw jonathan todae,really change alot man,getting fitter n fitter,why dun wanna be posted to 4 months BMTC?lols...work hard on it man...
lastly, to this very close friend of mine,it's been such along time since we hang out together n really sit down to just pour our hearts out,hope we can be just lyk b4,just the 3 of us..becos w/o the 2 of you guys,my sec 3 n sec4 life would'nt been this great...might sound gay but i'm still gonna sae it..i love the both of you...goddamm if i ever ferget the 2 of yer n dei,must take care too k?no matter wad help u ever need,dun hesitate to find me(although most of the time is i find u)makes me rmbr,whenever i'm telling my grandchildren stories,i never ever ferget to include to tell them the things tht the 3 of us had went thru....
btw,when i was typing all these,realised how much i love my class too...4e4 love you guys (someonly,delete where applicable)....haha...rite..gonna post some pics now...

walau damm heavy,70 kg leh...damm backbreaking you noe...

me,zhili and dingzhi.was trying to do a micheal jackson wif boy boy(zhili)sitting on my lap..lols..

hmm,since everyone on my class is putting this up on their blogs,why should i be any exceptions?lols...4e4,luv you guys..

fabbie's dae....

2005-06-03T15:32:00.000+08:00

well...went to chuan kiat's hse to watch "tong xin yuan",a tv show now showing on channel 8 on 7 pm,featuring felicia chin!kim kim,kwuang,ah moe n huat cai.bought some maggie mee along the way fer our lunch.cooked together,taste not so bad abliet kinda soggy n eggy...y eggy?cos we added 5 eggs into the whole pot of maggie.Ah long came ltr halfway thru the show,me ,fabbie n dz watching whereas zl,yz,hc n jw was playing the com.
fell aslp while watching....
finish watching the show le,went down stairs to play bball.fabbie sprained his leg while going fer the rebound wif me.went to the reflexologist wif him.recommended by ah long.waited fer quite sometime.zhili bought ice kachiang fer me.not bad,quite nice.
after examining fabbie's foot,turns out tht he had tore his ligament.put in cast.went hme wif fabbie n zhili.
830 reach hme,mum n siblings waiting fer me.wtf?we're going out fer dinner?i did'nt noe.went ot change.
went out again.met up wif dad,who was also waiting fer me.
had a heavy dinner.went to granny's hse.little brother stayed dere fer the night.went hme.reach hme @ arnd 1 plus.fell aslp quickly.had been having too little shack time there few daes.

motivated?very much so.....

2005-06-03T14:45:00.000+08:00

is this motivation in me gonna last fer ever or issit fer just a few months n after dat it will just wlit away?Well...i had attended this adam khoo motivational workshop as organised by my school...b4 tht, i was tinkin tht this workshop would be a scam n i wun be really be manupilated by them(the instructors)however, it turns out to be quite e opposite.
we had three instructors altogether,Ramesh ,Ahmin and Melvin....now ramesh n ahmin was pretty much adored by the whole class bt not melvin,his jokes are cold and the focal point of them pretty much pissed the guys off....anyways, the workshop really made me realise lots of things n well,u could pretty much sae tht it had indeed found a new direction fer my life...
really did bond wif my frens alot n learn how to cherish n aprreciate e ppl i meet,be dey ppl i detest or those whom i can really call frens...closing ceromony was very memorable, after a movie abt hellen keller,ppl were allowed to go on stage n express how they felt,saying all the thank yous n sorries to those who were dearest in their hearts...many were crying n although i did'nt cry,i was touched in my heart n yah, it indeed is a new chapter of my life....

bad,bad dae.....

2005-05-29T18:27:00.000+08:00

wad are the chances of ur house being struck by lighting?one in a thousand perhaps?well..i became the 'lucky' one..the aftermath was devasting man...the fuse in my ps2,minifridge and my cable box was blown,worst of all, my tv was fried,meaning it had overload n is beyond repair...well gotta go get an electrician to fix all these...it's gonna burn a hole in my pocket n i'm crying rite now..boo..wad a sad dae..